Anger, Shame, and Boundaries
April 14, 2025
A Model of Personhood in Flux
I started writing up this post in an effort to play with a nascent model of what I’ll call territorialized personhood. The idea that much like the negotiations of anything else, existing as a person is about negotiating with yourself and other parties. Negotiating about who you are via demarcating where your personhood is. I also wanted to figure out how to explain to people that anger is good, necessary, and not a bad thing when – like any other emotion! – expressed properly. In doing so, I start to explore some tangents, and come upon shame which is a Fascinating thing to pick apart.
Defining Terms
Boundaries, as they are commonly talked about, are ways that we set mutual context and rules of engagement. They are always in some way, in flux, in negotiable states. In some part, this is due to our own sense of identity being in flux. In another part, it’s about evolving trust. About how that trust affects navigating the feeling of vulnerability. Vulnerability that motivates us to hold certain things as sacred to ourselves. Some of these things are needful from a egoic stability perspective. Some of them are better let go of, when possible.