Nostalgia and the cementation of the soul in the late 20s
inspired by Computer is a feeling
There is something nostalgic about video games to me
Even the visages of characters I have only ever known from afar. They are familiar and cemented as acquaintances. I can stroll through a used game store. I can peruse my steam library. These are stories and characters I have known for years. I find meaning is malleable, and here it is encoded not in experience of particular games, but in the general idea of the drop-in, tune in vibe that a game library has.
Crosscode - I loved that one. especially up my alley. Puzzles and frenetic combat.
Satellite Reign - is this like a top down 3rd person group shooter? I still don’t know. But i think the character designs are neat.
Deponia - giving me serious penny arcade vibes, never played, and at this point, the self-indulgent geek stuff kinda puts me off a bit.
Splice - no one has played this except for me. I will never finished the alternate sides. But wow, I to this day remember how the soundtrack did so well in keeping frustration in a zen-like slumber
.Hack G.U. collection - I think at this point in my life, I can’t anymore allow myself to play jrpgs, but I bet I would fall in love with GU…if only I could bring myself to skip or finish playing IMOQ.
Tales of Vesperia - I have more nostalgia for Abyss, but I did enjoy playing through this. I will no longer have access to my save, as it was on the Switch I gave to my friend’s wife. She seems to be enjoying Animal Crossing, and that’s a sight better use than the neglect my console was facing.
I think of Kingdom Hearts more these days.
I think this nostalgia wave is getting stronger, my desire to latch onto new things wanes as I approach 30. I knew this would happen, but I never guessed it would be this hard. I think being alone too much has exacerbated it. I feel trapped in my apartment sometimes. Coiled up, resting, waiting for the period of extended loneliness to drop off.
I’ve had my first suicidal ideation in years tonight. I really am alone in a sense that is too deep for comfort. I want to cry. I want to reach out. I feel I can’t.
I’ll carry on, and maybe keep the edge off with some running. We’ll see how far I can run.